A(nother) New Beginning

A co-worker and I have agreed to work towards our own weight loss goals for the next two months. Yet again I am starting over in the healthy life category. I reached my heaviest weight of 225 pounds in high school during junior year in 2000. A combination of social anxiety and bad eating habits along with the usual teenage angst brought me to that low point. I hit rock bottom and almost had my dad set me up with a counselor. Somehow I convinced myself that I could or should put in the hard work on my own. I started working out intermittently and -with the help of free access to the gym at Millikin University- by 2005 I was down to 185 pounds.

After a brain hemmorhage and brain surgery in the summer of 2005 I continued to work out and focus on my health. I controlled my eating with Weight Watchers and either walked 1-3 miles or swam over 50 laps daily in my dad's pool. After a move back to Illinois in February of 2006 with a big thanks to Weight Watchers and working out to The Biggest Loser DVDs I made it down to my lowest weight, 158 pounds. 67 pounds lighter I felt comfortable and confident in my own body...but I felt like I was starving. For those who have never been on the Weight Watchers program, the less you weigh, the less you eat. You are assigned a number of points (or calories) you can consume based on your weight and activity levels. At that point an average day's worth of meals was:

Breakfast-yogurt and an apple

Lunch-plain wheat bread turkey sandwich, light string cheese, pickles

Dinner-lean cuisine dinner, green beans and slim-a-bear ice cream sandwich

I was constantly hungry and was insanely tired of counting points and watching everything I ate. 3 years later, after several moves, 4 different jobs and getting married, I am back at about 210 pounds. I've continued to work out...albeit far more infrequently. But, I've definitely been hitting the ice cream and carbohydrates far too often.

This time around, I've set a reasonable goal. I'd like to be confident about my body again...but not by sacrificing my sanity to the food control gods. I'm starting to work out regularly again; hopefully 4-6 times a week. And, I'm watching what I eat, but not in an overly obsessed kind of way. I'm hoping to get back down to 180. That's 30 pounds down...still 22 pounds over my lowest point. I'm hoping that will get me back from a size 16 to a size 14 and return me to a sense of peace within my body.

We're starting weigh-ins for two months on Friday. I'll keep you posted!